Hve you ever realised how hair effects a persons personality , or how people feel about eachother ?? Maybe its just me but i swear hairstyles effect more than just trends . For example, When i met one of my bestfriends she had long , blond dyed hair with a sidefringe, totaly innocent and sweet , after all we were only 12. This suited her quiet and girly personality. A full fringe brought her more confidence and gave her a voice aswell as a bit more of a attitude but her lovelyness remained . Next stage in her journey through hair came a dramatic and drastic change, a spikey bob (think alice cullen but lighter brown and with a longer fringe.) Looked totaly amazing but brought out a certain level of confidence and pride which i guess was kinda annoying but lets face it , she looked better than me, i was probably incerdibly jelouse xD . This labor intensive hairstyle quikly evolved into a chic haircut due to the fact she couldn't be arsed to flick it, this gave her a slightly more sensitive personality, which clashed dramaticaly with my own and caused us to be slightly less close for a long time. However her hair was just changed again. easily the best style so far, she is naturaly one of the prettyest people ive ever met, but this hair cut (think pixie/ boys cut ) makes her look like a supermodel. and her sudden feeling great about herself seems to have made her feel great about other people. We are closer than ever.
Now this may all seem dumb , maybe your right, maybe its hormones, moodswings, distractions but her personality changes at the same time as her hair, weather her hair is the reason or not. Another example could be me. A side fringe gave me more confidence and everything in life seems much bolder and interesting when i have red hair . So after pondering this for a while ive come to a conclusion. The power to look how we want, to have people compliment us, its a confidence thing. it bumps us up or tares us down. i could give another example of how having hair go from long to short seriusly changed a boy i know and his attitude but i wont because lets face it, this post is way too long allready !!

Ok so heres some of my facebook status' which basicaly sum up everything ive been up to without me having to type it all out XD ...
"so after all of that, the two words play on your mind, they linger for a moment, before you let them free. So after all that, when you tell me that your sorry, after all i meant you, and the shit you said to me. So after all that, im left with all the broken pieces, for a moment i accept that we were never meant to be.... so after all that, when ive conqured all your hatered, now i finaly feel, my grip on you is free."

"Darwin deez lastnight were AWESOME not only did they preform all the songs on their album with trademark dances inbetween, but allso preformed a new song !!(dum dum dummmm) AND darwin and the over-energetic (but SERIOUSLY loveable) did some raps !!!! took me by suprise but weirdly worked out great !!"

"having amazing time at the sleepover with Jess Gallimore ッ, Courtney Haymes and Louie Woodcock.....even though Louie and Courtney cant take a JOKE! :L Love them all muchly though.....especially you Jess.....doubt we are going to get any sleep though. Just a couple of *cough* sexual favours...haha Jk. ♥ ♥ "
so theres my life updated ... now for a proper post with a lovely long rant about hair...

This is tough. Very. But im doing ok. He has turned into a bit of a twat by rubbing his new girl in my face, thinking its her that i'm upset about. Its not. She means nothing to me. Infact she is a pretty cool person. Its him. Hearing the hurtfull stuff he is saying about me. Knowing he wants me to be in pain. Its not tears and hugs anymore. Its anger. Betrayal.
Looking on the bright side of life (do do , do do ,do do, da do ) Nikkis party was AMAZING omg murder mysteries are sooo much fun !!! And chinease lanterns !! And seleena pie :')
Singing lesson monday . Ireland soon for music festival. Then Darwin Deeze and halloween. And then ... AUSTRELLIA !!! <3

To be honest i don't need a selfish dick in my life who only needs a summer Holiday to tell someone else he loves her, who flirts constantly with other girls, who treats spending lunchtimes with me as a punishment, who walks away so easily and who makes promises he cant keep. It may hurt like fucking hell but ill get over it one day and years from now when I've found the one I'm meant to be with forever, i probs wont even remember stupid little boy that broke my heart at 13.
So maybe i do still love him, hell that's not gonna change anytime soon, its gonna stay in the corner of my mind no matter what, when you feel like i did, one text dosen't put a stop to how much you care, it just mixes it with unbearable pain, but I'm not gonna break down in front of him, I'm no gonna swear and scream to his face, I'm not gonna tell him ill always love him no matter what, and no matter how much i want to, I'm not gonna take him back. Because if his life is miserable without me, if he misses me, then good. its his own fucking fault. so I'm just gonna pack all his stuff away, clear him out of my head, tare him out of my heart and ignore any messages.

when i hear my favourite song ,
and im shure that he's the one,
i imagine him here with me ,
if only love worked so easily,
i miss him more every single day,
feels he's drfting further away,
i find myself staring at my phone,
for that call to prove im not alone.
And i know i've done stuff wrong,
But when i hear my favourite song,
can't help but think of him.

Back at school, Back with friends, Back in detention and Back waking up at the crak of dawn to wash my hair, Back standing up everymorning on the schoolbuss, Back to doodling through maths lessons, Back to writing lyrics on the inside of my exersise books and Back to lunches in the artroom with my girls ... and louie. Back to a daily routeen...... untill christmas.

Just realised my previouse blog has a pic of my new winter coat without me mentioning it in the writing !! so just to fix this - that is my beutiful coat for this winter which im inlove with and so i have my fingers crossed the weather will get shit soon so i can wear it xxx

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TODAY HAS BEEN CRAP . im not kidding !! been climbing but got eaten alive by insects !!

spending this week writing a new song i came up with up in the cliffs today and reading mokingjay - the thrid book in suzanne collins' "hunger games" I LOVE THIS TRILOGY !!

SCHOOL SOON !!

aaaaaaahhhhhhhh !!!!!
Bags are waiting to be packed, uniform waits to be washed and my tie hides somewere in my room. Lunchboxes are getting lonely in thier cubards while waterbottles sit and wait for the holiadays to be over. Yes my equiptment is ready to be back at school where it is used rather than disgarded and forgotten, but im certainly not ready !!
my summer holiaday check list ...
1. make some money - not done
2. re-organise my bedroom - not done
3. spend atleast a whole day in bed - not done
4. make video for latest song and put it on youtube - not done
however ....
5. spend time with friends out in the sun - done
6. y-not. meet darwin deeze - done
7. swim in the sea - done
8. fish and chips on the beach - done
9. family holiaday - done
10. survive train journey from sheffield to london - done
So it seems ive done all the fun things on my list !! WHOOP!! But thease 6 weeks have been waaaay too short - and knowing theres only a week or so left is heartbreaking - wheres the summer boredome that was suppost to kik in last week !?! Im still very much enjoying the sun and certainly NOT wanting to be back in a stuffy classroom !!

Nine months of sitting under bridges while huddling for walmth . Nine months of barn dances with sparkly cow-bow hats . Nine months of living in eachothers houses more than our own. Nine months of music festivals . Nine months of confidence . Nine months of being loved. Nine months of happyness....
should i throw this away because of one heartbreaking incident ??
1 to 3 months - yes
3 to 5 months -yes
6 to 8 months - maybe
8 to 12 months - no !!
And so mr. prince carming is forgiven .... untill next time.

Some girls are beautiful, stunning even, and you look at them and think "wow" However these girls feel distant in my world. "The barbie dolls" or "Little miss perfect" are just some of the cruel jokes shared between me and my friends , and i know what your thinking jealousy . However i have never felt jealous of these girls. I'm happy with how i look, a life of caring only about your looks is a pretty sad life in my opinion. I'm happy with how i live, i know what I'm good at and i aim to succeed higher, which i generally manage. So when out of the blue miss dark hair , ivory skin and flawless figure comes along, i pay her no attention. BIG MISTAKE.
In a short amount of time spent away from me, Mr prince charming latched himself to this goddess of prettiness very quickly and with no hesitation decided to tell her he loved her, so as you can imagine I'm not in the best mood , how do i fix this? I climb !! A whole day of hard climbing and i couldn't care less , RESULT !!

WELL HELLO MY LOVELY BLOGGERZ !!!!!!

weekend of "quality time with mr.charming" backfired - oh well .
Not doing much for rest of the holls so my posts are gonna be hugely boring !!!!
Still savig up for my synthonizer, not doing very well, money isnt safe around me !!!! Tempted to dip into my savings fund but i know i realy shouldnt, never mind.
Recoreded "sorry" the other day but the sound qualitys pretty shit so i need to wait till i get use my better equiptment - meen while ill just keep inproving it !!!!
well over and out m'dears ! xxxx

ive just hurt someone very close to me - and i dont know how to get him back :(

hey heyyyy !!! i survived staying the night at prince charmings house and was actualy dissapointed to be going home !! talk about weird !!! im nakered cos its eleven at night and ive been working on my new notice for my babysitting - trying to pull in work cos im saving up for the beutiful beast whcih should appear somewhere on this post - so so so cant wait till i can afford her !!!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B0000WS0SC/sr=8-10/qid=1282768946/ref=olp_product_details?ie=UTF8&me=&qid=1282768946&sr=8-10&seller= < again guys ignore it xxxxxxxx

http://www.littlebigtree.com/competition/#howto < ignore this guys - i needed to write it somewhere xx

scared shitless due to the fact staying at prince charmings tomoro night for first time . This should be no big deal concidering he spends half his life staying at mine at the moment but im still nervouse , his parents have this idea im polite and quiet (or so ive been told) but whenever they talk to me i make an idiot of myself! His dad , being a police officer, is the sort of persone who asks endless and pointless questions which trip me up on every occasion !!
Ive been mushrooming today and retured with enough wild mushrroms to put into bowls and cover our kitchen table , i made a mushrrom risotto for tea and will probs be eating mushrooms for annother 4 months !! abpove is a picture of some Amethist decievers which we found hundreds and hundreds of, enough for 5 baking bowls of !!

oh and did i tell you guys my boyfriend is now bald ?? yerp he just went and cut it all off - stupid boy .

been doing some retail therapy today and feel miles better for it , my musics doing great and my latest song "sorry" should be hitting you-tube in a few weeks as soon as the cideo is compleate!! currently reading a book where a teenage girl is turning into a seal - not too normal !!! and am kankered bespite mega shopping due to the fact my family decided to try to bake pizza today - lets just say i should never be let loose near a pepper grinder again !!

well its been a long long time since ive talked to you my lovely followers , who ever you are !! dyed my hair today and , due to the fact its chesnut , mr so-called boyfriend and his ideal princess named a gingerbread man after me ,thanks alot guys.

Y-NOT MISSION ACCOMPLISHED !!!! while queuing for the toilet/tardis i caught sight of Darwin backstage and waved at him , well guess what HE WAVED BACK !!
They opened to a dance with "PENUTBUTTERELLYTIME" and did tons of amazing dances in between songs .
The songs they played were : constellations, up in the clouds , bad day , radar detector and one i cant remember !!(we were at the very front)
Snook backstage and got photos and hugs with the band before getting Darwin to sign my wristband and prince charming buying me a sighned a signed c-d !!! I GOT A PHOTO HUGGING HIM !!

The rest of y-not was seriously awsome and being at the front for shot shot stacy made it even better, got my hand hennad (is this the correct spelling ??),listened to some awsome bands and ate loads of crappy food !!

SO GOING BACK NEXT YEAR !!!!!!!!!

whoop its summery summer fun this weekend as im gonaa be a Y-NOT ( !!!!!!!) and wearing my new boots as shown on the left , i love thease shoes due to how sturdy they are but very very sophisacated at the same time . I adore the vintage grunge look at the moment and plan to pair them with a grunge shirt , some skinny jeans nd my geek glasses !!

Over the weekend i plan to somehow comunicate with Darwin Deeze , who i will be watching preform on the saturday , wether its holding his hand or making eye contact i will somehow have a moment with my future luurrrvvvve-god (sorry prince charming)

wish me luck !!!

SUMMER

summer has finaly come after a year of waiting , so , over 40 days of relaxation , what the hell should i do ??
MUSIC ,FRIENDS AND SUN!!
And i think i might just live without prince charming !
cannot wait untill Y-NOT ! xx

This week has been an uphill struggle with downhill results when it comes to prince charming, who knew one week of arguments could cause so much grief !?!
However despite my heart breaking every few minuits my friends this week have been AWSOME !!
Two enritchment days had us wading through rivers with measuring tapes on thursday and scrabbling round the wreks of an old castle on friaday.
Though thease trips where cold , soggy and castles - unbearably boring !! Being with my palls was certainly a day out in its own licence and i got to know the token boy of our gang ALOT better , before i had the chance to think about it we were opening up to each other on so many personal subjects !! he certainly made alot of things troubling me clearer and claimed i'd done the same for him !
Headed to cromford today to buy some more beads and hopefully wander round my favourite book shop, though i might aslwell wait becuase due to a review pannel i'm part of , they will be sending me a new book soon anyway , still , you can never have too many books !!
Current musical masterpiece going well , though my fingertips have hardened from strumming the guitar so much !!

somewhere over the rainbow

Everyone knows that the moons made of cheese , its as true as the fact that there is a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow , and recently ie reached the pot of gold at the end of the colourful arch of life.

SUN. MUSIC. FRIENDS. < who could ask for anything more ??

Been allowing creativity to flow with desighning more jelwery for ZEST, which if u dont allready know is my small jewlery buisness i run with my close friend Heather.
Also filled all the plain pages with drawings in my beloved notebook and am now moving onto the lined pages !!
Looking forward to becoming just a bit less pale over the summer !!
AND WHEN I GOT HOME I COOKED THAI SYLE STEAK ON A BED OF CRISPY CARROT RIBBONS !!! who knew i could cook !?! also been backing for prince charming , making him some cookies to thank him for allways being there xx

Sunshine , True friends , prince charming , 'sall gooood !!!!

There are curently 3 people making my world go round atm , they know i love them !!!
writing amazing song atm while composing a piano pice to go with it , epic riding lesson today , new story idea in my head , stall on saturday , learning to ignore people who cant get over themselfs LIFES GOOD !!

exhausted, stressed and mega nervouse my brain is working on overload trying to get all the craft stuff prepared of my stall at parwich wakes , all stuff is now packaged with a table lay-out worked out, spent all evening with heather, who cant come despite all the making being a shared effort , she will be spending the weekend up a hill !!
Hoping to see some familliar faces on saturday aswell as the random strangers that come to parwich wakes !!

The sun is shining over manchester and everyone is cheerfull , WHOOPIIEEE !!
This week ive learned that a little sun, a sports day and a street-party was all i needed to get back on track, and now im alive, awake and ready to take on the world !!
Soon to come is wakes week, an old worn tradition in parwich, the hi-up incharge people organise an event for everynight and everyone has a HUGE laugh.
Me and my best-friend-more-like-sister heather have been hard at work using as much creative intelligence as possibe to create some beutiful pieces for this years stall , however , much like i failed to help run our table last year , heather is off walking up hills that weekend (DofE)and so mr.perfect-boyfriend has agreed to help , such a darling !!!
So with glue permantanly under our fingernails and beads inbedded in floorboards me and heather have one more week to compleate the best collection yet !!
Alll i have to do now is survive a week of school.

Bring on the waterworks.

When someone from your past throws themselves back in your face it generally seems a good idea to welcome them back, one piece of advice, don't.
In one week I've hurt my friends, family and boyfriend, and i didn't even realise i was doing it, things have got to change , and FAST.
The moment i dig out of the hole of neglect i fell flat into, i am going to set myself 3 simple targets.
number 1. Don't allow my brain to wander the second i get home , keep focused up until i go to bed (and if things keep going like they are, my nights in bed will no longer involve texting till 12pm)
number 2. Ignore certain people as much as possible so to avoid hurting anyone further.
number 3. make more time for my friends, and this time, treat them like true friends (someone who will easily turn on me) and take more caution with my words.

this time ,
she thought she'd found something new ,
and i could see in her eyes,
she wanted you to feel that way too,
you said you didn't want to know,
now i can see all her smiles are only put on for show .

cos everynight she cries ,
deep inside she dies ,
its not gonna get better ,
she's asking herself why ,
she shouldnt curl up and die,
but baby im not gonna let her .

i promise you .

im gonna hold her hand ,
so she understands,
she's not alone,
she's not alone.
and ill tell her what to do ,
just cos she is without you ,
she's not alone.
she's not alone.

I have decided ,
im not ever gonna let her let go ,
to that smiley girl,
that i used to know.
and you have decided ,
your gonna break her heart ,
not gonna let you,
no im not gonna let you.

'cos im gonna hold her hand,
so she understands,
she's not alone,
she's not alone,
and ill tell her what to do,
even though she's without you,
she's not alone,
no , no.
she's not alone.

pennies in a well ,
a million dollars in the fountain of a hotel ,
fortune teller that says maybe you wont go to hell ,
but I'm not scared at all ,
of the cracks in the crystal ,
the cracks in the Crystal ball.

what i did next...

He loves me . He loves me not...
yes okay my prince charming didn't take long to arrive in his sparkling horse drawn carriage(well actually i first met him in a canoe) and yes , i grabbed him at first chance , and no , I'm not complaining at all , i know how much i mean to him and all but what do i do when someone better comes along, and how do i know when that is ???
for the past few days my mind have radiated toward the daunting prediction that there is another girl in the picture, someone with all my good qualities and more .
but to add to all this there is the family issue , and then the friends, and then the school work !! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE LIFE MORE EXITING WITH ALL THEASE SET BACKS !?!?!
Still a hand full of people are making efforts worth while , so I'm gonna paste a smile on my face an try my hardest to mean it !! :D

lets start at the beggining ....

OK so its half term and I'm bored, what better time to start a blog, right ??Only problem is, i have no idea what to write about.my life in earth shatteringly normal , nothing jacquline wilson ever happens to me !!I live in the beutiful village of parwich, but despite fairy-tale good looks this is not the place of fantasys , even a fairy godmother with a magical pumkin wouldnt brighten this place up . However a new school term brings a chance to start fresh , and , with the help of my seven dwarfs(a.k.a my best mates, "the gleeks" as we call ourselfs) and my prince carming (love you ollie !!) im determined to make life more interesting !!!